he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
