If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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