I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize