Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
