How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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