Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
