She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
