i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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