But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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