the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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