$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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