He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
