And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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