She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
