Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
