Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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