You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
