id be glad to
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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