I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
