Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
