dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
