after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
