I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
