I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
