Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
