We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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