It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
