hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
