your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
