I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
