Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
