oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
