She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
