im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
