You just made me feel so damn special
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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