At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
