Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My vagina is officially offended.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
