She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
