there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
