I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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