So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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