All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize