Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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