What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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