well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize