If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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