I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
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As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
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