Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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