it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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