but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
