to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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