worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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