Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
