I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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