Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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