She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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