Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
