Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
