I just saw a hot homeless man
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Hippo gnu deer
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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