4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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