I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
