everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
our cab driver is having phone sex.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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