You just made me feel so damn special
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
