im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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